Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
