I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well I just put wine in my tea
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
