GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
