like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize