Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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