so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize