what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
