Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.

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(707): View more from California

left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day

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(+52): View more from Mexico

she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.

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(512): View more from Texas

She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?

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(519): View more from Ontario

So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year

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(240): View more from Maryland

i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight

(202): View more from Washington, DC

HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!

(240): View more from Maryland

it expires tomorrow

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