my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
