are you still at the devil's house?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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