They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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