dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
