She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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