Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm too high and old for this...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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