my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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