Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize