I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
