The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
