Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
