I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
