He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I believe in your delicious
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
