That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
