Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
