she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
