When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she smelled like a LAN party
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
