Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
