i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
