I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
