my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
