Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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