Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
