And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize