My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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