I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
