I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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