I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
