every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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