He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
