I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
