I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize