Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my being single is dangerous.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
