some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize