my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
