There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize