so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
