That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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