No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize