I love watching others lives come down to our level.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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