I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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