i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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