This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Mom said you looked used
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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