i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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