It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i dont even know how to be here
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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