When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
