I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
