I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
