tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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