I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
