I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just pee around me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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