she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
