bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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