tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
