He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
