You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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