i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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