So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
