so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
