oh god the rape fog is back!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Actions speak louder than pants.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You pole danced in your parka.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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