Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize