I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
