Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
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