Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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