She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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