I only kidnapped one of them. chill
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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