hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
