He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
