i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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