when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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