My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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