She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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