so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you didnt know i had herpes?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
