Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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